a screeching halt...

mania fading...and this blog now feels woefully inadequate...i have not opened up...truly...let anyone in...it's just so generic...happy faced...not dealing with...issues...like...what brings this whole mood on...last night's viewing of the excellent eugene oneil doc on pbs...and narciscissim has me...contrasting and comparing...his life...and mine...and asking myself...why am i not doing more...why am i not published...why didn't i start earlier...there is so much more that i want to do...so many more places i want to go with my writing...i know what i am capable of doing...and i have yet to scratch the [cliche]...not even close...

oh the flaying mind...

i must clear the decks...eliminate the uneccessary...i have to find a way to make my choices work for me...refocus...

a completely different life ago...

1999...i went to a filmmaking workshop in rockport maine...they have a very well known photography program there and the film and television program has a good reputation as well...one of our first projects was to tell a story with ten still photos...thisis what i made...


my first action movie (arctic monkeys remix)...because my nephew says thats what the kids are listening to...and they damn well should be...that's the rock...

[there was a story here about how this silly little project became tangled up in a political tug of war in the class...but it read like too much self glorification...maybe some other time...]

like a weed...

it's been one of those weeks...the kind of week that would take a year out of the soul of a lesser man...me...i like adversity...i thrive in it...when most people are struggling...i'm doin gwell...adversity is my friend...it make sme stronger...better...

anyway...

it started with a car accident...20 years of accident free driving...and then...a little ice...a slip and a slide...and...car vs semi...actually not that much damage...but just enough for the insurance company to total it out...

then...

the car was ms scribe's...she bought it brand new 12 years ago...it was her baby...baby betty...maybe you can understand how upset she might have been...only at first...then she was an angel...lucky me...

well, bye bye baby betty...you were a dream...


hello boxcar bertha...

does this mean i have to drive like a grownup now...

while both of those situations turned out well...

i had to get up in the ass of someone at the shitty shipping company for not giving ms scribe the service and respeect she deserves...not as much fun as it used to be...

and...

at work they literally tried to bury me beneath a load of their bullshit...but when push came to shove...i shoved it right back up their asses...because that's just the kind of man i am...when i want to hurt you...i'll hurt you good...you might just like it...and ask for more...

btw...there's a new post over on burnsizzlebleed...in case you misssed it...

please allow me to piss you off...

music is universal...it has the ability to speak to us all...regardles of whatever barriers we allow to exist between us...everybody's got songs they love...songs they hate...my persoanl tastes run a very wide gamut and there's not much i'm not willing to listen to...while there is no use arguing over taste...i have to say there are songs which...make mewant to pull my ears off...two in particular...james taylor's brown eyed girl...and american pie...both of these little ditties always manage to get played by the guy who brought his own guitar to the party...and everyone feels the need to...is encouraged to...sing along...and the songs themselves are not horrible...i guess it's the people that really irritate me...they always seem to be these dreamy eyed crunchy trust fund liberals...the kind of people who say things like...the world would be a better place if we could all just learn to love one another...these people infuriate me...endlessly...these are same people who ruined the grateful dead for me...

that's all i have really...but let's not end this on a negative...

im working on several new videos...something from school way back...and footage of the big spring snow storm three years ago...

oh yeah...that thing...that march thing...yeah...it happened...but more on all of that later...

i hate these things...

after watching it bounce around the internet for the last month or so...and i didn't get one...i felt like i dodged a bullet...and then...ms scribe took aim...pow...swak dab in the the kisser...so...i decided to rewrite to make it more interesting for me...here ya go...

Four jobs that actually made a difference in my life: (and why)

phone monkey- qwest communications, pre ipo (i learned how to not treat your emplyees)

better paid, better trained, better supported phone monkey- janus funds, pre sept 11 (i learned that treating your employees well hurts profits)

bicycle messenger- small courier firm, one short summer early 90's (i learned that i like working outside)

spreadsheet monkey- qwest communications, one very desparate year not long ago (i learned that i do not belong in a corporate environment)


Four movies I would bury in a landfill, never to be watched again:

E.T.- some people blame Jaws for creating the summer blockbuster...i have no problem with that...this movie...with it's sticky sweet sentiment...and insistence on a happy ending...is the movie most responsible for allowing spielberg to get his hands on...and ruining...A.I....unforgivable...

The Nutty Professor, and Father of the Bride- these two movies are responsible for turning two of americas best living comedians into...walking punchlines...thank god bill murray has managed to dodge that bullet...

let's bury that one too...


Four places I may end up haunting after i die:

my new home...


the best apartment i ever lived in...


my favorite place in Denver...


or the place i spent most of my childhood...


Four television shows I would watch and/or write:

The Huxtables in the 21st Century- Cliff has early onset Alzhiemers...and Clair is still practicing law...because they lost most of their retirement money in the late 90's...Denise, widowed mother of two has returned home and is helping take care of her father...Sondra and Elvin are still together...and the twins are in college...Theo is struggling to keep his marriage together...and Vanessa...still single...has a successful career as an assistant d.a....Rudy...having runaway when she was 17...returns home to heal old wounds...

V: The Return- Remake of the classic sci-fi series, this time darker, and more violent. Something suitable for this Orwellian America.

Untitled Sean Nelson vehicle- Twenty something buppie (that's black urban professional) living, loving and working in NYC. It's your world...he just wants a piece of it.

The new Night Stalker- Fuck, that's right, the idiots at ABC canceled it...thank god for itunes...


Four places in time I would love to see:

i might enjoy being a black man in manhattan during the 1920's...

i would love to see north america just before the europeans arrived...

mesopatamia 10,0000-5000 BC...to witness the birth of our so-called civilization...

????- whenever and wherever it is that humanity sees it's demise...oh wait...that could be right now...


Four websites I wish I had come up with:

here are the easy answers...google...blogger...netflix...amazon...

here are the fun answers...

imdb...this could be so much more...oh to get my hands on it...

t-shirt hell...fun for perverts...

that's six...i was never good with numbers...


Four foods i should not have ate:

girl scout tagalongs...crack in plastic wrap...

my mother-in-law's hamantaschen...that's a jewish cookie...and that's homemade crack...

real swiss chocolate...i was 8...i keep chasing after that taste...

entenmanns chocolate covered doughnuts...my arteries hate me...


Four places I will see in the next 10 years:

bangalore...nepal...milan...london...

Four of my favorite denver bloggers:

Gideon...

Tayden...

roxy...

Shoun...

plus one more...because i refuse to obey...

clementine...

tag...you're it...

round robin...

i know i'm slow on the uptake...and that some of you may already know all about this guy...but i just find it hilarious...

it's an easy target...i know...but its so true...

random fact from this sunday's times..."any two unrelated Web pages are separated by only 19 links"...holy shit...

hey...explorer users...does my shit look fucked up to you...

i know what i'm doing this weekend...

another hero...gone...

more than just a filmmaker...

more than just a painter...

more than just a photographer...

a hero...an icon...an inspiration...

thank you mr parks...for showing us how its done...

an explosion of readers...

taking note of my expressed desires...ms scribe has launched an email campaign...to increase traffic and visibility here...well...that did the trick...so...i guess the first thing i should do is say...welcome...to all the new eyeballs...and please check out the many other fine blogs...that are not mine...

i guessthe next thing to do is catch you up on how things go down here...so here is a short history...the highs and the lows...

year one...

i named my influences/inspirations...i state my intent...i lay out my working manifesto...i get visual...i go slightly...temporarily...insane...i rant and rave...things start to get better...i make an invitation to the reader(s)...i retract that invitation...i draw a line...things get really better...



year two...

i celebrate one of my inspirations...i deal with the realities of the election...i deal with the realities of my relationship...i face some the realities of my prespective...i want to hand out a few doses of reality...and then reality shifts...and comes knocking at my door...again...i contemplate a new reality...and i like it...

year three...

there was the honeymoon...and an examination of my history with cops...some really bad christmas jokes...a lot of talk about love...and some free advice...and we all know how much that's worth...

so...that's where we are...there's a whole lot more to it...but after a while...you get tired of reading about yourself...know wha i mean...

make yourself at home...and come back soon...thanks...

black folks...please...

folks have their knickers in a twist about the three mafia six performance and oscar on sunday night...they call it..."degenerate"...they call it..."coonery"...what the hell..."an all out war on hip hop"...it's just a song...now...there's a lot that i don't know...but of this i am certain...when 15 year old suburban teenagers and your middle aged dad lay claim to the title...and when the academy of motion picture arts and sciences gives an oscar to a song titled "it's hard out here for a pimp"...with a performance highlighted by...interpretive dance...then pimping must be dead...besides who needs a pimp anyway...i jest...

these people should save their rage and consternation for something important...because the rap game ain't oppressing anyone...except maybe the rappers...these people have forgotten...already...that hip hop was born from black people catching hell...sure, they might have been down with it when rap was all dashikis and black power fists...talkin bout...free mandela...maybe not even then...but now that it's people from the streets and ghettos...spitting the...dressed up...ugly truths about poverty in america...they can't stomach it...the thing is...these rappers are doing the exact thing black conservatives have been chanting forever...use capitalism to pull themselves up out of the streets...you want to get angry...okay...try having an emotion for the young men and women trapped in prostitution by cycles of addiction and abuse...try feeling something for people ignored and neglected by an education system that their choices become...rap...sports...or hustling in the streets...now that's real...

colfax ave...boulevard of broken...whatever...

colfax is one of denver's claims to fame...it has been celebrated...neglected...and well...used...mostly used...and now it has a marathon in it's name...this is denver's newest marathon...and yours truly is training for it...yeah...one last gasp...before this body becomes...one more broken shell on the beach...i'll let you know hwo it tursn out...

oscar liveblog 2006...

john's monologue...was it me or did he look extremely uncomfortable...

supporting actor...nothing like a physical injury to earn your peers respect...and a damn good speech george...

okay...lets get this out of the way...ben stiller...not funny...

animated feature...the easy...sentimental choice...

live action short...wow...that's something of a surprise...i didn't think much of that one...

animated short...i gotta be honest...i slept through that one...

okay...lets get this straight...will ferrell and steve carell...now that's funny

supporting actress...shes a wonderful actress...she derserves it...by the way...have you read my disclaimer lately...

doc short...well...i get one right...doc feature...uh...of course...and ms bacall...theres no shame in wearing your glasses...

this is the muddled middle part of the show...what a slog...

robert altman...long time coming...please allow me to roll out the cliches...american maverick...a true auteur...living legend...well, it's a bout goddamn time...

uuuummmmm...they really had no idea what to do with pimpology....thta'ts comedy...and then...the award...oh boy...this whole thing started two or three years ago with emimem...i bet they're regretting that...

things just got a whole lot livelier...even the deadlist...didn't feel like the downer that it normally is...

foreign lang feature...well damn...i gotta go see that one now...

editing...that was probably the strongest part of that movie...

best actor...good....i hope this means more good leading roles for phil sey hoff...

actress...soon we'll see less meaningless pap from her...cross your fingers...

adaptation...well...that's one of three...

original screenplay...i...just...don't...get...it...

director...two...

best picture...surprise surprise surprise...well...not really when you think about it...a movie about la...celebrated by la people...

ugh...what a nightmarish way to spend three and a hlf hours...promise to never let me do this again...okay...

hello kitty...

i was too busy honing my skills at...chaos...to be of much interest to the ladies when i was in college...but i did manage to meet one or two...one of the more vivacious...was roxy...i don't know many other people more knowledgable...and passionate...about music...than roxy...and why is it that the biggest music fans i know...are all women...anyway...she was dating someone i knew...that's about as far as it went...over the years since college though...she kept showing up...concerts...parties...one way or another...we would bump into each other...come to think of it...it's almost always around this time of year that we cross paths...time passes...aquaintences become almost friends...at least close enough so that whe it comes time to part with a friend...she asks me if i want her cat...which happened to be about the time i was longing for a pet...but too busy being a big city playboy...to want to make the investment of time and energy that a dog requires...warnign signal #56 that a man can be a selfish prick...hes a cat lover...

and that is how i cameto posses the loving, sexy, sassy...ms greta...so thanks roxanna...you're one of the coolest...ever...

roxys got a blog too...mostly she seems to write about her movie going experiences...of course that means she's got oscar picks for this weekend...which reminds me...

who should...and will win this years oscars...

BEST PICTURE should & will: Brokeback Mountain (not my favorite of the bunch, [capote] but it is the best told story amongst them)

BEST DIRECTOR should: Bennett Miller (for forging an in depth illustration of a man who previously was something of an enigma) will: Ang Lee (i have yet to see a bad movie from this guy...take a second look at hulk as a love story)

BEST ACTOR should Phillip Seymour Hoffman will: Heath Ledger (not that much better than phil sey hoff, but the momentum seems to be with the gay cowboys rather than the writer who happened to be gay)

BEST ACTRESS should & will: Reese Witherspoon, deserving outsider longshot: Felicity Huffman

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR should: Paul Giamatti (to make up for last year) will: Matt Dillon (been around...paid his dues), the damn he took one for the team award: George Clooney

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS should: Catherine Keener will: Amy Adams (hot buzz), won't get one cause she's already got one even if she deserves one: Frances McDormand

BEST ANIMATED FILM should & will: Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY should: A History of Violence (if you read the graphic novel and saw the movie, you know why) will: Brokeback Mountain

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY i'm deadlocked here... The Squid and the Whale or Syriana (the edge goes to the kid beacause coming of age is easier to swallow than complex foreign policy)

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM should & will: Palestine (topical)

Best Feature Documentary: should: Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room will: Murderball

now for my favorite part...

Best Documentary, Short Subjects: should & will: A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin (bloggers take note...especially anyone who podcasts...there's lot to be learned from the golden age of radio)

Best Short Film, Animated: should: 9 (and looking forward to the feature length version) will: One Man Band (from the folks at pixar, funny stuff)

Best Short Film, Live Action: should: Our Time Is Up will: Cashback (favored because it also will be produced as a feature)

and the special award for most overlooked, underappreciated movie of the year goes to: Mirror Mask

that's my view from the cheap seats...

maybe i'll liveblog the oscars this year...

in the car...

we see aguy drive past with an interesting scar on his head...

me:

i can only imagine how that guy must have gotten that scar

ms scribe:

(pause) a good pistol whipping would do that.

i can only smile and reply.

do i really want to know why pistol whipping was the first thing that came to your mind?

ms scribe proceeds to tell me a story about how Asshole#2 was pulled over by the cops and promptly pistol whipped for mouthing off...sounds familiar...whisch then leads to a story about how a friend of hers was propositioned for a threesome by a married couple...when she refused...they threatened her life...

maybe you can see why i married this woman...

off the shelves...

the house says...

"Girls.

That was all. One word to pretty much sum up the whole of all we cared about. Week in, week out. Where to meet them. What to say to them. How not to need them. That was unattractive. Girls could never know you needed them, which was why our conversation had to be kept secret, because that's all it was about: needing them."

the vixen says...

"Bilqis' appearance belied her inner state as she faced Solomon. A thousand butterflies fluttered their colourful wings inside her, there was a pleasurable humming in her veins and her groin was infused with a warm, sensual feeling. The king reached out and took her hand and Bilqis was astounded by the life and feeling in this single, small piece of her. She could hardly meet Solomon's eyes. But, she reminded herself, I'm a queen - the Queen of Sheba - I meet any other monarch on equal terms. And when she forced herself to look into Solomon's eyes, she knew she was no queen looking into the eyes of a king but every woman looking for the first time into the soul of the man she loves and with whom she longs to be physically united."

the marketer says...

"Our brains have two sides. The right side is emotional and musical. The left side is focused on dexterity and hard data. When you show up to give a presentation, people use both parts of their brains. They use the right side to judge the way you talk, the way you dress, and your body language. Often, people come to a conclusion about your presentation by the time you're on the second slide. After that, it's often too late for your bullet points to do you much good."

the gambler says...

"What a fool! What a silly fool! You're an old fool you are!"

the jazzbo says...

"Later she waited at a dark corner table at Bobo's Black Rooster until Mingus came to sit with her at intermission, his hand gently caressing the base of her neck. He spoke casually of needing bread and she said eagerly, "I haven't much money but you know you can have it. Here, I know it's not enough." And carelessly brushing the few bills to the floor as if they were nothing he said as Bobo would say, "Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am."

the poker pro says...

"Good players very rarely call. Good players raise or fold."

the criminal says...

"I had the feeling that I had no feeling"

the poet says...

"when I think of myself dead

I think of somebody making love to you

when I'm not around"

the yegg says...

"If I'm not there five minutes after you, I'll be in jail. I don't like to think of that, but the pitcher can can go to the well once too often, and it's better to know beforehand what you are going to do when it breaks. If I don't appear you put the stones away safely and wait till I send you word. Don't try to connect with me."