a lot of self hate goin on...

direct result of not getting as much writing done as I would prefer...honestly...its never enough...6 to 8 hours a day isn't enough...so you might be able to imagine how i feel because...i haven't been able to squeeze out fifty decent words in days...yes...constipation would be an apt analogy...

Johnny Cash Loves You!

yes...

i'm shilling for itunes...it's a small change...literally...i might make enough to buy a song or two...evry couple of months...in another sense it represents a big change...not so much change...as an opne acknowledgement that the blog was always intedned to be a marketing tool for my work...a means...not an ends...

Johnny Cash Loves You!

living the life vs being...

my best friend is a stand up comedian...he spends a lot of time driving in his car...driving to far flung american towns...bringing the gospel of laughter...anyway...he's started listening to tony robbins...i don't go for the stuff myself...i've spent a lot of time in the military...and military environments...i've learnd a little bit about how to help myself...but...my buddy said something the other dayh that he got from mr robbins...it stuck me...he said if he was just living the lifestyle of a comedian...rather than doing comedy...he would rather quit...at first blush...in my hubris...i nodded my head rightously and thought...well, duh...three days later that thought is still rattling in my head...of course...the seed of self doubt has sprouted...am i writing...or just living like a writer...well these words...and others...would seem to say something about me writing...somehow...i dont feel like i',mdoing enough...or maybe my time and energy is scattered...there are too many distractions...less time is being spent on my book(s)...am i being a writer...or just living the life...

conclusion...less blog...more book...once a week...two days...one day here...another day there..i know...youre disapointed...shattered...somehow i think youget over it...especially aftter i finish my book...

Johnny Cash Loves You!

no, i haven't forgotten...

this month marks my second year blogging...blahbity blah...waht does it mean...time passed...what else...well...ive learned more code...im that much closer to geting published...and...i don't know...ive got something like 1500 total hits for my three blogs...yes, after all my bullshit about hit counters, i went and put one back in...i still think they're crap...but its good to know where you wonderful readers come from...of course...no blogger is an island...so...thanks, credit and blame go out to...flagrant...tony...sherron...and jill...and others...for sending people my way...and sometimes helping me find my way...that so much more important than a number...and i can't forget blogger for creating such a wonderful tool to begin with...beynd that...if you want to know what keeps me going...just read the title above the window...

Johnny Cash Loves You!

strange dreams...

dreamt that my step brother handed me one hundred checks mad in the amount of $415...$415,000...for some very odd reasons...I could only wish...

Johnny Cash Loves You!