July 11, 2004
deep waters...
hhave you ever gone swiming in a deep mountain lake...especially at night...its dark...and cold...when there is no difference between the water and the sky above...that's exactly how i feel right now...
Johnny Cash Loves You!
July 9, 2004
rule 1. If you don't run your own life, someone else will.
as i was typing last night's sertmon on integrity...life was preparing to say...PROVE IT...
i was filling out this application
this morning and one of my best friends called and told me that a temp position was opening up in corporate hell...the same temp position that i left three months ago...because the 18 hour days were sucking the life out of me...because i want to finish bsb before the end of the year...because in those three months, i have written more...and better...thhan i did during the year i worked there...because my lady love was tired of only fucking on the weekends...priorities...right...
i told her about the job...complained, actually...and of course, she brought the real...shhe remided me that i'm lucky to have choices...she told me that bsb is getting better and better...and she assured me that she would stand by whatever i chose...that's why she's my lady love...
the plan was...is...to pick up some part time work...write everyday...and help the lady love with her business...the problem is...the part time job hasn't happened yet...and going back to my cubicle would be lucrative...certain promises were implied...less work...more pay...blahbiity, blahbity, blahbity...
it's tepmting to turn this into an either/or siituation...writing vs money...but i know that's a false dichotomy...bukowski worked like a dog for the post office...and wrote...like a champ...this is the kind of thinking i used to seduce myself into wage slavery the first time around...
committment requires sacrifice...loving my lady love means not dropping my cock into whatever pretty thing who swings her ass in my face...loving my writing means not wasting my time and energy doing something just because it makes my pockets fat...
Johnny Cash Loves You!
i was filling out this application
this morning and one of my best friends called and told me that a temp position was opening up in corporate hell...the same temp position that i left three months ago...because the 18 hour days were sucking the life out of me...because i want to finish bsb before the end of the year...because in those three months, i have written more...and better...thhan i did during the year i worked there...because my lady love was tired of only fucking on the weekends...priorities...right...
i told her about the job...complained, actually...and of course, she brought the real...shhe remided me that i'm lucky to have choices...she told me that bsb is getting better and better...and she assured me that she would stand by whatever i chose...that's why she's my lady love...
the plan was...is...to pick up some part time work...write everyday...and help the lady love with her business...the problem is...the part time job hasn't happened yet...and going back to my cubicle would be lucrative...certain promises were implied...less work...more pay...blahbiity, blahbity, blahbity...
it's tepmting to turn this into an either/or siituation...writing vs money...but i know that's a false dichotomy...bukowski worked like a dog for the post office...and wrote...like a champ...this is the kind of thinking i used to seduce myself into wage slavery the first time around...
committment requires sacrifice...loving my lady love means not dropping my cock into whatever pretty thing who swings her ass in my face...loving my writing means not wasting my time and energy doing something just because it makes my pockets fat...
how it all started...
this is a picture of my grandfather:
when you Google my name you get a lot of information about him...he was a jazz composer and pianist, and remains a major influence his craft...
what does any of this have to do with my writing...perhaps you can imagine...growing up with this knowledge...i never had the pleasure and priviledge of knowing the man...just the legend...
i'm proud to be his grandson...and i'm grateful for what that has brought to me...particularly his example of how a man can move through life...build a body of work...and keep his integrity intact...he is reason Number One for why i write...
Johnny Cash Loves You!
when you Google my name you get a lot of information about him...he was a jazz composer and pianist, and remains a major influence his craft...
what does any of this have to do with my writing...perhaps you can imagine...growing up with this knowledge...i never had the pleasure and priviledge of knowing the man...just the legend...
i'm proud to be his grandson...and i'm grateful for what that has brought to me...particularly his example of how a man can move through life...build a body of work...and keep his integrity intact...he is reason Number One for why i write...
July 6, 2004
What up!!!
yes i finally figured out the whole picture thing...this is my happy mugshot...i'm amazed...this pic was taken almost exactly three yearts ago...during one of the most miserable periosd of my life...and it is the best picture of of me as an adult...i think the guiness helped...
oh yeah...thank you ImageShack for helping a web twit like me get viisual on it...
July 4, 2004
KNOWtheLEDGE
writing in the first person...to some, it's stunt writing...the further you get from your own perspective...gender, race, class, education...the more of a stunt it becomes...for the reaqder, it's like grading a test...theyre looking for the wrong asnsweres...i find the most chalenge in writing a character who's close to my perspective, and then going places i might not necessarily go on my own...dark waters...to do so, you realkly have to know yourself...waht youre capable of...know the lines that have to be crossed...and tread them without fear of whats on the other side...
Johnny Cash Loves You!
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