i was filling out this application
this morning and one of my best friends called and told me that a temp position was opening up in corporate hell...the same temp position that i left three months ago...because the 18 hour days were sucking the life out of me...because i want to finish bsb before the end of the year...because in those three months, i have written more...and better...thhan i did during the year i worked there...because my lady love was tired of only fucking on the weekends...priorities...right...
i told her about the job...complained, actually...and of course, she brought the real...shhe remided me that i'm lucky to have choices...she told me that bsb is getting better and better...and she assured me that she would stand by whatever i chose...that's why she's my lady love...
the plan was...is...to pick up some part time work...write everyday...and help the lady love with her business...the problem is...the part time job hasn't happened yet...and going back to my cubicle would be lucrative...certain promises were implied...less work...more pay...blahbiity, blahbity, blahbity...
it's tepmting to turn this into an either/or siituation...writing vs money...but i know that's a false dichotomy...bukowski worked like a dog for the post office...and wrote...like a champ...this is the kind of thinking i used to seduce myself into wage slavery the first time around...
committment requires sacrifice...loving my lady love means not dropping my cock into whatever pretty thing who swings her ass in my face...loving my writing means not wasting my time and energy doing something just because it makes my pockets fat...
