another fine colorado autumn...apparently...

it;s been a beautiful fall...so ive been told...i work nights...and sleep most days...it suits me...but ive missed some spectacular weather and foliage...according to my wife...no matter... i went out today and took this picture...right after some round headed kid lost his kite in the tree...

excuse #102505 for not updating...

let's see...there's the...ominous...and not yet worrisome health issue...to be resolved in a couple of weeks...there's the writing workshop im enrolled in...and there's a new piece i'm working on for burnsizzlebleed...and then there's the fact that i'm just plain...lame...

what I've learned from the police...(pt 2)

being a scofflaw is expensive...example: ticket for busted tailight...$60...replacement taillight...$6...for most of my twenties, my driving record was spotted with tickets and violations...speeding...dui...whatever...i got tired of paying for tickets...insurance...gas...so i sold my car and spent most of my thirties...riding my bike...yeah, i'm that cool...

believe it...despite my lack of a ride...and a prestigous carreer in customer service...i had no problem meeeting women...six years ago...i even found myself with...a girlfriend...she was sexy...smart...semi successful...and self destructive...obviously...she was dating me...

anyway, one night i was riding over to her place...and cops rolled up and pulled me over...on my bike...maybe you can imagine my ire...i managed to maintain my composure...even when they gave me the ol...you match the description...line of bullshit...

they ran my license...and unpaid tickets and missed court appearances finally caught up to me...they handcuffed me and put me in the backseat...

then they showed me a security picture of the guy i was suppposed to look like...he was taller...darker...and heavier...the only thing we had in common was our shaved heads...and oh yeah...he was black...

this is when i lost it...one of the cops was black...and i really let loose on him...about how he should know better...about how he should be ashamed of himself...they gave me the...yeah, yeah, whatever...and took me to the police station...

i knew i was wasting my time...and my breath...but i was tired...tired of cops exaggerating traffic violations...tired of being asked if they could search my car...tired of everything...

what did i get out of venting all this frustration...a weekend in jail...a suspended license...and a debt of several hundred dollars to my new girlfriend after she bailed me out...

it costs too damn much...all this wild freedom...

your word of the week fron the journal...

ironic: incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) : an event or result marked by such incongruity b : incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play -- called also dramatic irony, tragic irony

as in: the job i took so that i could...afford to see a doctor...something i haven't done in 10 years...has created a situation where i...had to...see a doctor...which has become a situation that may or may not...seriously need...a doctor's attention...

or maybe it's all just...coincidence...hopefully...just a simple matter of...serendipity...

if writing were a woman...

our relationship would be a mess...ive neglected her...ignored her...cheated...pimped...abused...and taken her for granted...and yet...she keeps coming back...whispering in my ear...telling me her secrets....expressing her faith in me...showing me new ways to think...see...feel...asking nothing in return...

thankfully, writing is not a woman...it would be difficult to respect a woman like that...

it is a habit...a practice...a craft...an art...i find that it requires...a discipline...that only takes hold in me...from time to time...

(a mea culpa, if you will...for my disappearance...my life...my health...has taken center stage and this...this exercise in vanity...and other flights of fancy...had to be put away for a minute...it's all about priorities...anyway...i'll get my shit together soon enough...so i can be...again...just another distraction in a world of frivolous noise...)