December 31, 2005

the year in review...2005...

i've heard a lot of people grumbling about what a lousy year this was...sure...if you lived in new orleans...or pakistan...or sri lanka...or london...or...if you lived or worked in the white house...or if you were an elected republican...

i must be walking around lucky...and don't know it...beccause i've had a pretty good year...

marry a wonderful woman...

check...

get the job that i've wanted for years...

done...

and so many other very good things...

no i have forgotten that my step father died...even that worked out for the best...I got the chance to make peace with him...before saying goodbye...

and no i haven't finished the book yet...but i'm damn close...

so farewell '05...i'll remember you well...

here are some of the books, movies, television, and music i've enjoyed this year...

























Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 28, 2005

kinda used to be...

the other day the wife and i were making out on the couch...yeah, it's like that...we make out like teenagers on the couch...like drunken strangers who picked each other up at a bar...!...and for no apparent reason...an old short i wrote...older than i care to admit...flitted across my mind...and then today...i found out that a favorite blogger of mine moved...and again the story came back to me...this thing is about sharing...so...here ya go...a blast from the past...

ICED CREAM OF WHEAT

I am four again.

I’m sitting in the warmth and comfort of my mother’s kitchen. Outside, it’s a bright winter morning. It snowed last night and everything is covered in a blanket of white moisture. School is canceled for the day and my best friend Eddie and I are anxiously awaiting our celebratory bowls of warm Cream of Wheat. Eddie lives next door.

Two years from now, with cool sweat running down my back, I’ll get my first kiss from Charlene Arroyo playing house in Eddie’s basement.

After spending all morning shoveling neighborhood sidewalks, Eddie’s older brother Will comes into the house peeling off his coat while my mother brings us our steaming breakfast. As Will sits at the table, he rubs his little brother’s nappy head and asks for a bowl.

On Will’s eighteenth birthday, the three of us will sneak out and “borrow” his father’s car for a rambunctious midnight joy ride.

As we say grace, Eddie and I poke at each other like inattentive boys at Sunday school. I look at my cereal and know that it isn’t complete. I add a lump of butter and watch it melt into a yellow pool. I pile a pyramid of sugar on top and remain unsatisfied. I turn towards the kitchen window to the backyard and realize what I need.

When I am nine, I’ll run home screaming with blood gushing from my head after falling into the basement of one of the unfinished houses being built in the field where we used to play baseball.

I walk outside in my flannel p.j.’s and slippers to where my father’s vegetable garden lies
dormant. Scooping up a handful of the chilly December snow, I look up into the hard blue sky and watch the sun’s rays glisten on the icicles hanging off the rain gutters. My dog Shep pokes his huge head out of his house and looks at me as if I’m crazy.

When I am at college, Shep will die from poison fed to him by thieves so they can break into my family’s home.

My mother asks me why I went outside. “I’m going to make Iced Cream of Wheat”, I tell her. The simultaneous burst of laughter from the three of them send the birds outside the window fluttering to the trees. I nervously glance at Eddie, and I find I am comforted by the understanding in his eyes. On my mother’s face there is a trace of bewildered surprise.

I remember that same look fading to sadness after both of us saw Eddie get gunned down in a drive-by shooting three years ago.

Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 21, 2005

last year's unanswered christmas letters....little billy...

Dear Santa,

My name is Billy Peterson and I live in Highlands Ranch on 325 Rain Dream Hill Place. Please don’t confuse our house with the houses on Rain Dream Hill Court, Rain Dream Hill Avenue, Rain Dream Hill Lane, Rain Dream Hill Street, Rain Dream Hill Boulevard or Rain Dream Hill Circle.

All I want for Christmas is another play station for our minivan.

I’ve made cookies for you so get here soon because I will eat them if you don’t.

Billy

Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 17, 2005

last year's unanswered christmas letters....bad phone rep...

Dear Santa,

We have been very bad this year, we have had a lot of opportunities to help people and we didn’t. We have been rude and mean.

I know we don’t deserve anything except for lumps of coal but if you can see it in your heart to bring us something we would really appreciate it. You see, we need a soul.

Qwest customer service department.

Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 11, 2005

last year's unanswered christmas letters....geek holiday...

Dear Santa

Last year I got my wish for a highspeed internet connection. I love it. I spend at least 10 hours a day on the web.

This year may I please have a new keyboard. My current one is all sticky.

John

P.S. You don't have to put it under the tree. Please just put it in my room, I live in my parent's basement


Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 8, 2005

i blame myself...mostly...

there are a handful of regular readers of this journal...both friends and strnagers...on top of that...a couple dozen of regular passers by and lurkers...so when i write a post intended to solicit audience participation...i don't expect much...sure, i'm disapointed when no one plays along with my reindeer games...but i haven't done a lot to earn avid...and reciprocal...readership...i can live with that...

but when some annonymous jackass...is the lone commentor...to an offer to play an innocent word game...and his contribution is a critique...of the style this journal is written in...that would be depressing...if said jackass knew what the hell he was talking about...but since "someguy" doesn't have the guts to leave an email for correspondence...or a link to his own writing as an example of his own stellar...wordsmithery...i am only left with the choice to get fired up...and publicly evicerate him...

starting with the the writer's bible, The Elements of Style...or one of my personal favorites, the AP Stylebook...even the grammar maven du jour, ms Lynne Truss...make little if any mention of the humble ellipsis...but there are rules regarding its correct use...a quick search online...and on my bookshelves...offers the following definitions/usages...

Wikipedia:
"An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence."

Merriam-Webster:
"a sudden leap from one topic to another...marks or a mark (as ... or · or --) indicating an omission (as of words) or a pause"

Hodges' Harbrace College Handbook:
"Use ellipsis points to mark a reflective pause or hesitation."

even "someguy's" source The Blue Book of Grammar :
"Sometimes sentences are meant to trail off. Use ellipsis marks without any ending punctuation in this situation."

it's one thing to completely disregard the disclaimer above...and like a coal pinching tight ass...find fault with the writing style...it's a choice on my part...it'a a way to let readers inside my head...and give them a sense of how i think...it's a stylistic choice to represent the fact that i...and most sane...and reasonable people...don;t think in complete sentences...

it's another to annonymously leap in...without credentials...or the courage to open yourself up to equal critique...and attempt to correct me...

hey "someguy"...first, you're wrong...there are many things that i'm wrong about...but my use of ellipsis...is correct...more important...if you don't get the spirit of the thing...and only adhere to the strictest interpretation of the rules of language...in my mind...that's a greater ignorance than illiteracy....

language is a fluid...living...thing...it is neither static...nor bound by codification...get over it...and get over yourself...

Johnny Cash Loves You!

December 2, 2005

fun with madlibs...

an interactivity test...remember these...well...you give me the words...i'll fill them in and...together...we'll write something...funny...maybe...

here we go...

1 male name

6 nouns

1 human body part

2 more nouns

2 adjectives

2 last nouns

1 adverb

okay, let's see what you got...

Johnny Cash Loves You!