fun with facial hair...

remember Wooly Willy...

not that, get your mind out of the gutter...the toy that gave you hours of fun by moving magnetic shavings around to make different facial hair configurations...well now, there's Furry Jimmy...your new digital friend...

start with the all American classic...The Youklis...

or go casual with The Weekender...

you can go all the way with The City Gentleman...

need a quick halloween costume? don't be a pirate, again! try on one of America's most beloved characters...The Lincoln...

(or Amish, if you prefer...)

there's the perennial Fu Manchu...

it's still not too late to go to Comic-con as your favorite comic book super hero...

(the boys in legal said we can't use the real name, so we just call this one Chops...)

add a few chin whiskers...and you've got a Reverse Fu Manchu...

wanna scare the young punks in your neighborhood...nothing beats The Enforcer...

if you really want to make people poop their pants, you can't go wrong with The Cleric...just add a robe and a towel and terrify your friends...

but nothing beats America's all time favorite...Der Fuhrer...

brought to you by FunCo!!!

(FunCo will not be liable for any damages whatsoever arising out of the misuse, or inability to grow facial hair, or any damages that may or may not result in use of facial hair. If your use of extreme facial hair results in the need for servicing, repair, or correction of your equipment you assume all costs thereof.)

today's cool shit...quit monkeying around...

i always enjoy a good Banana Splits mashup...

today's cool shit...fashion fail...

if it's not enough for you that someone thought mens trousers needed...a third leg...let's add to it by mentioning that this bit of hilarity came from one of the godfathers of the Black Panther Party...Mr Eldridge Cleaver...apparently, this was another way to...stick it to the man...or something...

"My design had to do with an argument against what’s being done with our clothing. Who controls our clothing? If you notice, the clothing industry is dominated by homosexuals. They want men and women to look basically the same."
(scroll to the end of the interview for full blown insanity)

today's cool shit...inspiration...

today's cool shit...old NYC tv ads...

today is Stevie Wonder day...in my house at least...and i can't listen to You Are The Sunshine Of My Life without thinking about the goofy ad that used to run on television back in that day that had people bungling the lyrics...i searched and searched, but the damned internet can't help me find it...i did find these...enjoy...

i love this block...cable for $15 a month!!!Scooter shilling for The Money Store...Carvel pimping miss half pint...and Space 1999...oh my fraking God...



i'd forgotten all about Korvettes...check out the original Atari at the end...

today's cool shit...

enjoy...

today's cool shit...(amended)...

booyah!

current.tv is not just goofy online videos...it also has some of best journalism to be found anywhere...this is the most informative, and moving 25 minutes you could watch today...

today's, um, cool shit???

so disturbingly funny...i fear for this kid...and the next 10 years of his life...


(via Videocracy)

362...

shutting them up is not an option...

i learned something new today...

and ms. scribe keeps telling me that this show is a waste of time...we'll see what she thinks the next time i get strapped into a straight jacket...

Dispatch D.C....comments and complaints...

in any gathering of people you'll have your fair share of douchebags...count 1, 2, 3...one will be your douchebag...problem is, Db's like to hang out together...they are the only ones who will tolerate each other...so, when you encounter one, you can feel like you're at sea amongst douchies...it's brain bending...

also, there's gradiant levels of douchbaggery...like the guy standing in line behind you who can't tell the difference between Lionel Richie singing "Easy Like Sunday Morning" and "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight & The Pips...he also insists that Q-Tip was always a solo artist who did some work with Common, Talib Kwelli, and Tribe Called Quest...rather than a founding member...it's annoying, but hardly the pinnacle of douchey...

that would be reserved for the know-it-all asshat with the smug smile who silently shakes his head and thinks about how he'll blog about this later...

wait, what...?

James P. Johnson

Showing up is not enough.

liars poker...or, bullshit as a way of life 101...

we all tell ourselves little lies...maybe about who we are...maybe about other people...most of the time these lies are just props to get us by for a short time...eventually, they help us get to the truth about ourselves...and others...sometimes these lies end up crippling us...or turn into cages...the worst lies are the ones that others make up for us...and we accept them without question...they become cheap suits that fall apart upon the most cursory inspection...

all of this is prelude to me coming across someone today who's whole life is nothing but falsehood...i know people like this exist outside of books and movies, but to come to know one personally...that's still a little mind blowing...

it takes balls...or more pleasantly, chutzpah...to present yourself to the world...when everything about your presentation is fraudulent, fake, and illusory...and never once blinking, stuttering, or wavering...as if no one will ever see through you and find out the truth...

knowing the truth, my first reaction is to be immensely entertained...when the laughter subsides...i don't know how i feel about this person...scorn is appropriate...respect is taboo...mostly, i'm just curious about the psychological logistics of how this kind of person works...

and you can be sure i'll find a way to write about such a character...

This is why i love current.tv...

hey amateur...listen up...

yeah, that's you fucko...i know the trains are all shiny and new...and that you only really use them to act like a tourist downtown...but that's no excuse to ride like a schmuck...

here are a few helpful hints to make the lives of your fellow commuters a bit easier...

#1 - if every seat is taken, move to the middle of the car...try not to create a knot of human flesh right in front of the doors...pretend that you are a thinking, breathing human being...and not cattle...

#2 - if you are sitting in said taken seat...amid a full car...get up and offer it to someone who really needs it...the aged, the infirm, a mother with an arm load of kids and groceries...you selfish bastard...

#3 - if the train pulls into the station...the doors open...and it's so full that it's asses and elbows everywhere you look...don't try to stuff yourself on anyway...there's another one coming in 15 minutes...and it will probably be empty...relax...breathe the fresh air...lord knows i don't want to have to inhale your overpriced, over applied eau de cologne...as you step on my foot...

as a matter of fact these very same rules apply to the bus...not that you would ever deign to find yourself on one of those...thank god...at least poor crazy drunks have more manners than you...

book in a week...day one...

i'm already a third of the way through my page goal...either i under promised...or i've over delivered...we'll see...

meanwhile...

this both fascinates...and stupefies...i could watch it all day...thanks gary...


best rickroll...ever...clever...funny...thanks shannon...


the first time i saw anything like this was wax audio's Imagine This...much less funny...

Super Lunch!...

Msg from ms scribe...

If you have to advertise...it's probably not true...

corollary...no one buys if you don't advertise...

My wife gave me permission...

Really...

weekly round robin...

was never much of a Mr T fan...but this is hilarious...(via Denver Egotist)...



a long winded...but very important...reminder from Ira Glass that...persistence...is the key...to success...and better quality work...(via ThePublishingSpot)



which brings me to this post from mr. Bransford...

the point being to get to the root of...why...why write...i write because i have to...need to...yes...being good at it...getting published...and generating an income from it...are important to me...but these are not the reasons why...i have to breathe...i have to eat, drink, sleep...etc...and i have to write...

meanwhile...

i'm still digesting these numbers...i've downloaded the full poll...and I think there's a story in them...of course, it's not the story they're selling...

and now...off to the music festival...will it be heaven...will it be hell...hopefully, the photos will tell...

and oh yeah...book trailers???now i have to make book trailers...another distraction begging for my attention...

hilarious...genius...