i was filling out this application
i told her about the job...complained, actually...and of course, she brought the real...shhe remided me that i'm lucky to have choices...she told me that bsb is getting better and better...and she assured me that she would stand by whatever i chose...that's why she's my lady love...
the plan was...is...to pick up some part time work...write everyday...and help the lady love with her business...the problem is...the part time job hasn't happened yet...and going back to my cubicle would be lucrative...certain promises were implied...less work...more pay...blahbiity, blahbity, blahbity...
it's tepmting to turn this into an either/or siituation...writing vs money...but i know that's a false dichotomy...bukowski worked like a dog for the post office...and wrote...like a champ...this is the kind of thinking i used to seduce myself into wage slavery the first time around...
committment requires sacrifice...loving my lady love means not dropping my cock into whatever pretty thing who swings her ass in my face...loving my writing means not wasting my time and energy doing something just because it makes my pockets fat...