a screeching halt...

mania fading...and this blog now feels woefully inadequate...i have not opened up...truly...let anyone in...it's just so generic...happy faced...not dealing with...issues...like...what brings this whole mood on...last night's viewing of the excellent eugene oneil doc on pbs...and narciscissim has me...contrasting and comparing...his life...and mine...and asking myself...why am i not doing more...why am i not published...why didn't i start earlier...there is so much more that i want to do...so many more places i want to go with my writing...i know what i am capable of doing...and i have yet to scratch the [cliche]...not even close...

oh the flaying mind...

i must clear the decks...eliminate the uneccessary...i have to find a way to make my choices work for me...refocus...

a completely different life ago...

1999...i went to a filmmaking workshop in rockport maine...they have a very well known photography program there and the film and television program has a good reputation as well...one of our first projects was to tell a story with ten still photos...thisis what i made...


my first action movie (arctic monkeys remix)...because my nephew says thats what the kids are listening to...and they damn well should be...that's the rock...

[there was a story here about how this silly little project became tangled up in a political tug of war in the class...but it read like too much self glorification...maybe some other time...]

like a weed...

it's been one of those weeks...the kind of week that would take a year out of the soul of a lesser man...me...i like adversity...i thrive in it...when most people are struggling...i'm doin gwell...adversity is my friend...it make sme stronger...better...

anyway...

it started with a car accident...20 years of accident free driving...and then...a little ice...a slip and a slide...and...car vs semi...actually not that much damage...but just enough for the insurance company to total it out...

then...

the car was ms scribe's...she bought it brand new 12 years ago...it was her baby...baby betty...maybe you can understand how upset she might have been...only at first...then she was an angel...lucky me...

well, bye bye baby betty...you were a dream...


hello boxcar bertha...

does this mean i have to drive like a grownup now...

while both of those situations turned out well...

i had to get up in the ass of someone at the shitty shipping company for not giving ms scribe the service and respeect she deserves...not as much fun as it used to be...

and...

at work they literally tried to bury me beneath a load of their bullshit...but when push came to shove...i shoved it right back up their asses...because that's just the kind of man i am...when i want to hurt you...i'll hurt you good...you might just like it...and ask for more...

btw...there's a new post over on burnsizzlebleed...in case you misssed it...